Britney Spears Has a New Boyfriend!

Hey hey stop making that face! I know you’re thinking “How the hell can she have a new man already? Ain’t she supposed to be in rehab??” Well yea .. you’re right .. she is in rehab but that doesn’t stop good ol’ Britney from manhunting! Apparantly, she has reportedly sparked a romance with Jason Filyaw, 33, the lead guitarist for the rock band, Riva, and they plan to move in with each other once she is out of rehab.

The pair are said to email and call each other constantly and are even said to have pet names for each other - “he calls her Sugar, Kitten and My Lady; she calls him Mr. Secret Underground Guy and J-Sun.” (how corny!) Britney adores Jason. He’s been a tower of strength for her at the lowest point in her life. She’s convinced Jason can help her through rehab because as an alcoholic, he’s been through the same thing.

Oh what a load of crap! Has she EVER been single?? And this guy is a frikkin “recovering” alcoholic! She always “falls in love” and ends up getting shitted on by some guy. There’s 3 things I can depend on in life: taxes, death, and Britney Spears being the dumbest broad alive…