They Got Her! Remy Ma I Mean…

Yeah, my bad. I know that title was a little confusing on account of me using “her” as the pronoun and all. So I threw in “Remy Ma.” Anyhow, Remy Ma turned herself in on Saturday and was immediately taken into police custody. Smart move, Remy! Your ass can’t hide anywhere … you’re too damn distinctive! There’s only one bitch I know with a deep ass man voice and poodle hair … with a gold piece up front. Just as soon as they post up that hideous picture of you with a “Wanted” tag on it, you were gone! Anyhow, home girl did the predictable and plead “not guilty.” Yeah, you didn’t shoot her. She just ran into the bullet! I feel you on that one Remy. That happens to me all the time when people get on my nerves. When I was in elementary school, I had a scuffle with a classmate over who ate my gram crackers. I know he knew who did it, and he wouldn’t give up the dirt! So home boy accidentally ran into a pair of scissors. I still to this day think he ate my damn cookies! But I digress…

It has also been confirmed that the shooting was over $2,000 like we previously reported. Apparantly, the 2 Gs was missing from Mr. Martin’s purse, and the last person with her purse was her longtime friend (of 15 years folks), Makeda Barnes-Joseph, who professed her innocence. Remy didn’t wanna hear it. The altercation went to the street where Makeda proceeded to get into her car, and Remy opened the door and shot her in the stomach … twice. Makeda is in the hospital right now (in stable condition) and has identified Remy as the shooter. Remy, you’re going down! Sheezus Khrist!